Welcome to the Watering Hole

From Lady Gaga’s rumored Wednesday role to Jeremy Allen White doppelgänger contests, queer culture is thriving in all its chaotic brilliance. With Jari Jones redefining Bob’s Burgers, Omar Apollo stepping into film, and Lil Nas X and David Archuleta serving glow-up energy, this is a week of queer wins. Add Jen Psaki and Sarah McBride shutting down nonsense with logic, and it’s clear: the LGBTQ+ community is thriving, thriving, and thriving some more.

• Lady Gaga joining Wednesday Season 2 feels like the dark academia crossover we didn’t know we needed. If she’s not coaching Wednesday through another iconic dance scene, is it even worth tuning in?

• Who needs an actual boyfriend when we’ve got hundreds of wannabe Carmy Berzattos flexing their muscles in Humboldt Park? Jeremy Allen White didn’t just inspire The Bear—he inspired a legion of apron-clad, cigarette-wielding doppelgängers ready to serve chaos and beefy charm.

• Gay people vaping more than straights just makes sense. We’ve been breathing in discrimination and exhaling resilience for centuries—what’s a little blueberry blast on top of that? The real research question is: are we doing it for the flavor, the drama, or both?

• Jaguar’s ad didn’t feature cars, and Elon lost his mind. But honestly, if Jaguar’s new vibe is ‘delete ordinary,’ maybe they’re just deleting the toxic masculinity Elon keeps bringing to the table.

• Not Ellen packing up her $27 million mansion like it’s a carry-on bag and saying, ‘Bye, America!’ She really said, ‘I survived daytime TV drama, but I draw the line at another Trump term.’ Iconic.

• No Season 4? Kit might be ready to cleanse his acting palate, but we’re not ready to cleanse our streaming queues of Heartstopper. This is not the kind of uncertainty I signed up for—Netflix, do your thing.

• Leave it to Fox News to turn the Sexiest Man Alive into the most bizarre segment of the week. Greg Gutfeld saying Krasinski is trans isn’t just inaccurate; it’s desperate—like, even the Office reboot wouldn’t green-light this nonsense

• Jen Psaki really said, ‘Stop falling for bad-faith trans panic, and touch some grass instead.’ She’s calling out the ‘kids in sports’ debate for what it is—a fabricated distraction—and honestly, where’s her Pulitzer for logical takes?

• Sarah McBride didn’t just step into Congress; she walked in with receipts and a mic drop. Calling out Nancy Mace’s bathroom ban as a ‘blatant distraction’ is the energy we need—imagine trying to legislate bathrooms while ignoring actual issues like housing or health care. Priorities, much?

• Blaming the queer community for ‘shunning’ you after voting for someone whose policies actively harm us? That’s like showing up to Pride with a ‘Make America Great Again’ hat and being surprised no one hands you a glitter cannon.

• Jari Jones taking over as Marshmallow is the queer glow-up Bob’s Burgers deserved. She’s bringing soul, sass, and a killer rendition of ‘Seabird’—this isn’t just a recast; it’s a cultural reset. Marshmallow’s back, and she’s stealing the show.

• Witchcraft has always been about breaking societal norms, so it’s only natural that trans and nonbinary witches are leading the charge. Enfys J. Book said, ‘If the only thing stopping me from being High Priest is a penis, that’s stupid,’ and honestly? That’s the energy we all need.

• Omar Apollo stepping into the acting world with Queer feels like the cultural crossover we didn’t know we needed. Between his curls, his fab energy, and that undeniable charm, he’s redefining ‘triple threat’ in the most chaotic, queer way possible.

• Cynthia tearing up over ‘Defying Gravity’ being a queer anthem proves that even witches need a little love sometimes. The lyrics hit differently when you’ve been othered, and Erivo channeling her own experiences as a queer Black woman makes it all the more powerful.

• Lil Nas X kissing Cody Jon is exactly the kind of chaos we needed to start the week. Is it a relationship, a troll, or promo for a new song? Either way, Nas stays booked and mysterious, leaving us all screaming, ‘Yes, chef!’ in Carmy Berzatto fashion.

• A gay, Latino PR king making waves in a sea of white women? Bruno Solari is giving ‘main character energy’ in the most cutthroat industry. SolComms isn’t just about press—it’s about proving that authenticity and a little chaos can rewrite the rules.

• David Archuleta posting a headless gym selfie is peak ‘queer rebranding in progress.’ From Crush singer to Grindr-ready torso content, he’s serving the gays exactly what they didn’t know they needed—sweaty chaos with a side of mystery.

Okay, bye.

That’s a wrap for this week! 🎉 See you in the next one.