Welcome to the Watering Hole

From Wicked: Part Two rebranding for extra flair to SZA enlisting Ben Stiller for an album teaser, the entertainment world is giving peak unpredictability. Meanwhile, Drew Starkey’s effortless charm and Miriam Margolyes joining Doctor Who are sending us into a frenzy. On the flipside, Disney and Netflix are catching heat for questionable decisions, and Natalia Villarán-Quiñones is out here saving the planet and serving receipts.

• Wicked: Part Two getting a new name is giving major ‘rebranding for the drama’ energy. Renaming it ahead of release feels like the studio really said, ‘We’re Defying Gravity and expectations.’ Whatever they call it, we know the gays and theater kids will show up in full force.

• Not JoJo Siwa claiming she invented gay pop and making it permanent with ink. Elton John and Freddie Mercury are probably shaking their heads in glittery disbelief, but honestly, this kind of delusion is iconic behavior.

• Another year, another Oscars shortlist debate: Are these films actually the best, or do they just have the fanciest PR campaigns? Either way, Twitter’s ready to fight over every category like it’s the Hunger Games of cinema.

• Valentino’s beadwork scandal feels like a prequel to The Devil Wears Cultural Appropriation. Lily Gladstone calling for collaboration instead of exploitation? That’s the kind of energy we’re clapping for.

• SZA enlisting Ben Stiller to tease her SOS Deluxe album is the crossover we never saw coming but absolutely needed. After SZA’s viral Twitter plea for Severance season 2, this timing couldn’t be more iconic. With the Severance trailer dropping and Lana (from SOS Deluxe) out now, SZA is giving us peak multi-verse synergy—and we’re obsessed.

• Girls5Eva getting the chop proves Netflix loves chaos but hates commitment. If they spent as much time promoting queer shows as they do canceling them, we’d have a whole cinematic universe by now. Someone start a petition, stat.

• Cardi B staying controversial is like the sun rising—it’s just inevitable. This time, her comments are giving ‘girl, no,’ and the internet is understandably side-eyeing hard. Someone get her a PR crash course stat, because this isn’t the energy 2024 needs.

• Kim K dropped the most iconic video of the year with her rendition of Santa Baby. Most people do not understand that this music video is high art. However, if people on Facebook are accusing you of satanic worship, you know you created something timeless.

• Disney really said, ‘Win or Lose,’ and then picked ‘lose’ by axing their transgender character. Representation matters, and cutting one of the few examples in animation feels like a step backward, not forward. Pixar, you’re known for heartwarming stories—don’t break ours like this.

• When did blaming trans people for literally everything become the go-to for conservatives? The Wisconsin shooter’s gender has nothing to do with the tragedy, but here comes the ‘trans panic’ brigade, making things worse as usual. BTW, this Newsweek article from 2023 shows that 0.14% of shooters in the last 6 years have been trans. Maybe focus your energy on gun legislation?

• Kit Connor already called out the queer police once, and Lukas Gage seems equally over it. Can we normalize celebrating their work instead of playing Guess Who with their personal lives? It’s giving outdated and unnecessary.

• So, Biden's administration just pulled the plug on protecting trans athletes and student debt relief? It's like they thought, "Hmm, maybe we should just ghost these issues before the new admin comes in," leaving us all in the dust. Guess we'll have to keep fighting for our rights and our wallets the way we’ve always done – by being loud and proud.

• Natalia Villarán-Quiñones is out here connecting the dots between capitalism, climate, and anti-queer legislation like a next-gen Nancy Drew. Florida’s ‘twin storms’ of rising sea levels and bad bills don’t stand a chance against this level of brilliance. Queer liberation and climate justice go hand in hand, and Natalia just proved it with Can’t Stop Change. Nature is queer, capitalism hates creativity, and Florida’s lawmakers need to touch some grass—and maybe plant a tree while they’re at it.

• Miriam Margolyes joining Doctor Who feels like the queer chaos crossover we’ve been manifesting. The woman who gives zero f***s is about to bring that same energy to the TARDIS, and honestly, the Daleks should be shaking in their armor.

• So, basically, if you're queer and want to start a fam, you gotta ditch the UK and head to the Alps. Switzerland, honey, you better have your passport ready. Guess those 'progressive' politicians were just performative, huh? Imagine, living in a country where you don't have to stress about affording childcare or IVF because the government actually gives a damn about its queer citizens. Sounds like a fairytale, tbh.

• Sex scenes are awkward for everyone, but Drew Starkey handles them with humor and grace. Imagine trying to look hot while a boom mic hovers over your head—he deserves an award just for that.

• Johnny Sibilly’s openness about his relationship is refreshing. Supporting his boyfriend’s OnlyFans hustle and hinting at spicy collabs? It’s giving modern love goals with a side of sex-positivity.

• I think we can all agree that memes were a major source of entertainment this year. And let's be honest, the queer community absolutely killed it. From witty observations to hilarious takedowns, these memes were top-tier.

• Looks like Sniffles needs to up its user verification game. This woman shouldn't have to become an accidental Sniffies ambassador just because someone can't type in an address correctly.

• Looks like love is love and location, well that can be historic! Boulder County Courthouse is getting the recognition it deserves for issuing the first same-sex marriage licenses in the US way back in 1975. Maybe they can offer special tours for hopeless romantics.

• Drew Starkey is giving us life this week, though I must confess, after watching a few interviews, I'm starting to suspect peak Himbo energy. Sure, he's got that effortless charm and that mysterious "I know I'm hot but I'm humble" vibe down pat. And don't get me wrong, the swoon-worthy screen moments are undeniable. But something about those vacant stares in interviews and mumbling sentences makes me wonder if there's a whole lot going on behind those gorgeous eyes. Talented, unbothered, and undeniably gorgeous – Drew, take a bow... but maybe leave the deep conversation for another day.

Okay, bye.

See ya next year, I guess? Counting down the seconds like…