Welcome to the Watering Hole

This week, Australia is taking Eurovision way too literally, Ariana and Cynthia are about to make the Oscars their personal Tony Awards, and Patrick Schwarzenegger is still trying to convince us he earned his White Lotus role. Meanwhile, Lady Gaga said ballroom culture is the blueprint for LG7, Rebecca Black is officially in her queer pop icon era, and Zaya Wade is making the rest of us feel unproductive (again). Oh, and DHS is busy spying on LGBTQ+ folks instead of, I don’t know, actual threats. Classic.

• Australia said subtlety? Never heard of her with their Eurovision 2025 entry, Milkshake Man. The song allegedly has lyrics about ejaculation, and honestly, that feels very on-brand for Eurovision chaos. Whether it wins or just traumatizes Europe, it’s already iconic.

• Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo are about to make the Oscars wicked with their live performance, and the gays are seated. With both of them nominated, it’s giving history-making, showstopping, and “never been done before.” Give them the statues now.

• Patrick Schwarzenegger is in The White Lotus S3 and wants you to know he’s totally worked hard for it. rolls eyes. Babe, we’re still calling you a nepo baby, because… well, duh. Let’s see if the acting chops match the privilege. Also, take a look at his following list on Instagram and just imagine the type of gut he is IRL… 

• Matt Bomer starring in a gay sitcom about older Palm Springs besties? Oh, we won. Mid-Century Modern sounds like the campy, chaotic, wine-fueled series we’ve been waiting for. Nathan Lane is in it too, so yeah, it’s already a classic.

• Gaga saying MAYHEM is inspired by Paris Is Burning is exactly the kind of cultural reset we needed. LG7 is about to serve high drama, high fashion, and high camp. Mother Monster saw the state of the world and said, let’s vogue. I’m so excited.

• Rebecca Black really went from Friday to full queer pop icon, and we love to see it. Her new album is serving electro bangers, bold visuals, and peak gay club at 2AM energy. The glow-up is unreal, and honestly? She deserves it.

• Kristi Noem and DHS scrapping protections against spying on LGBTQ+ folks is so dystopian. Like, do they not have actual threats to focus on? The obsession with controlling queer lives is weird—maybe get a hobby that isn’t discrimination. The fact that this was even being considered is a peak into our transition into end times. 

• Jack Haven calling out the U.S. for rolling back trans-inclusive passport policies? That’s the energy we need. The fact that trans people have to race against the government to have their identities recognized is beyond embarrassing. Fix it, immediately.

• Iowa Decides Trans People Don’t Deserve Rights (Shocker 🙄) Iowa lawmakers have apparently traveled back to the Stone Age, voting to remove gender identity protections from the state’s civil rights code. Because, clearly, the biggest threat to society isn’t gun violence or healthcare costs—it’s trans people existing. The backlash has been fierce, but Iowa remains committed to leading the race to the bottom.

• Book Bans Target LGBTQ+ and Black Stories—Again… In today’s episode of Censorship Gone Wild, a new study confirms what we already knew: the books getting banned the most are the ones with LGBTQ+ and Black characters. So no, Karen, this isn’t about “protecting the children.” It’s about erasing stories that make certain folks uncomfortable.

• Nearly 1 in 10 adults in the U.S. now identify as LGBTQ+, and honestly? Love that for us. Gen Z is leading the charge, proving that queer visibility isn’t just a trend—it’s the future. We’re here, we’re thriving, and there’s nothing they can do about it.

• A Giovanni’s Room movie? Oh, we need this. Cooper Koch throwing his hat in the ring to play David means we might finally get a proper, devastatingly gay adaptation of Baldwin’s masterpiece. Hollywood, don’t mess this up.

• Jane Fonda got up at the SAG Awards and reminded everyone that empathy is not weakness. The way she has spent decades standing up for what’s right? It’s giving legend, it’s giving activist, it’s giving eternal mother.

• Pride Toronto Gets Ghosted by Corporate Sponsors as three major brands have ditched Pride Toronto sponsorships - reportedly because they’re scared of Trump’s anti-DEI nonsense. Ah yes, nothing says “corporate allyship” like running for the hills the second things get spicy. Turns out, rainbow capitalism only lasts as long as it’s profitable.

• Apple’s iPhone dictation allegedly swapping “racist” with “Trump” is the kind of tech malfunction that feels like divine intervention. The accuracy is almost too good. Maybe Siri just got tired of the gaslighting?

• Charli XCX winning Songwriter of the Year at the BRITs is so deserved. Brat is already shaping the sound of 2025, and now the industry is finally giving her, her flowers. The hyperpop girlies stay winning!

• Amy Schneider didn’t just win Jeopardy!—she became the moment. Even after a loss, she’s cemented as one of the greatest to ever do it. A trans queen dominating a nerdy trivia show? We love to see it.

• Gaga teasing the Telephone sequel in 2025?? Mother really said, “I like to keep the girls waiting.” Beyoncé, sis, answer the call—we need this cultural reset ASAP! I can’t get my hopes up again, though.

• Imagine fleeing a crisis only to get saved by a drag brunch at sea. That’s basically what happened when an LGBTQ+ cruise ship spotted a sinking refugee boat and sprang into action. They gave food, clothing, and medical attention—reminding us all that the gays get it done.

• England’s ‘straightest’ town suddenly becomes gayer! A new LGBTQ+ support group is thriving in Rochford—aka, England’s “straightest” town. Turns out, even in places where Grindr is just tumbleweeds and crickets, the gays will find each other. The group started small, but now it’s got nearly 100 members proving that no town is too straight to be fabulous.

• Orville Peck trading his fringed mask for Cabaret’s Emcee is the kind of casting that just makes sense. Cowboy crooner turned Broadway star? We love a multi-talented legend. Plus, the man has fans getting tattoos of his face—commitment.

• Zaya Wade is out here talking dating, college, and launching a whole platform for trans voices—at 17. Meanwhile, I can barely reply to texts. She’s effortlessly wise beyond her years, and honestly? The future is looking a lot brighter with her in it.

Okay, bye.

Pop culture keeps moving at breakneck speed, and somehow, it just keeps getting gayer. From Gaga channeling ballroom energy to Zaya Wade proving Gen Z is the blueprint, this week was a whirlwind of wins, eyebrow raises, and pure camp. Whether it’s Rebecca Black’s ultimate rebrand, Eurovision’s latest fever dream, or the DHS being dystopian (again), one thing’s for sure—we’ll be here to unpack it all next week. Stay loud, stay proud, and see you then!